The message is perfectly clear..

Half of a page.

(Part three of my interview of myself...back by popular demand. For previous installments, click here.)

Interviewer: It was good to get your telephone call...what have you been up to?

Julie: Not much…pretty much the same stuff I am usually up to.

Interviewer: If you don’t elaborate, your readership is going to get bored.

Julie: No pressure or anything…sheesh.

Interviewer:  Well, you’re the one who called me. Do you have anything to say?

Julie: I don’t know. I read back a few posts and noticed I have not been saying that much of anything.

Interviewer: So…do you want to talk politics?

Julie: Lord no. Aside from the fact that I am sick of them. I already voted.

Interviewer: Absentee?

Julie: Yes. I am a permanent mail voter.

Interviewer: I see. Who did you vote for?

Julie: No way. I am not going to tell anyone. I have some real problems with that.

Interviewer: With what?

Julie: People talking about who they are voting for.

Interviewer: Why?

Julie: Because I think that a lot of people are impressionable…and they may make the wrong choice based on who or what someone else is voting for.

Interviewer: Go on.

Julie: That’s pretty much it. I think that a lot of people don’t really know all of the facts about things or people they vote for. Lord knows that people who “work” for candidates and propositions don’t know what they are talking about… Let’s just end it by my saying that this is the biggest mess I have seen in my lifetime.

Interviewer: How old are you?

Julie: 37.

Interviewer: I think I remember reading that you were tagged a few days ago...want to fulfill that tag?

Julie: Oh...ok. Inge tagged me...I’m supposed to state 6 random things about myself.

Interviewer: Let’s hear them!

Julie: Alright…but I am not too sure that I have not mentioned these things before; I’ll try to be original.

Julie: One: buffet service makes me very uncomfortable. Restaurants kind of too…but I can manage. I don’t like anyone’s hands near my food including my mother, grandmother, husband...et all.

Interviewer: That’s not too unusual.

Julie: Thank you. Two:  At the moment, my left leg is longer than my right.

Interviewer: Does that hurt?

Julie: Not really...I mean I am in pain a lot because of the delivery of my daughter, but I am strengthening those muscles and hopefully the left leg will come back into place.

Interviewer: Yawn…..

Julie: Hey- you’re the one that pressured me to do this. Snap out of it. Three: I just joined Face Book.

Interviewer: You? Anxiety ridden, you?

Julie: I know. It was hard at first, but now I can handle it. I think.

Interviewer: What’s so hard about it?

Julie: I worry that people will contact me and I won’t remember who they are. Let’s face it: I had a total of five friends in high school... I hardly remember anyone! Four: I only eat one meal per day now; the rest of my food comes from bird sized snacking. I don’t like how heavy I feel after eating a big plate of food.

Interviewer:  You bake a lot, right?

Julie: Yes, but I seldom eat what I bake. I am a pass-er-out-er.

Interviewer: Must be nice for your friends and neighbors.

Julie: Yes, but now that butter costs more than a gallon of gas, baked treats have started to be treated like a commodity.

Interviewer: I see.

Julie: Where was I?

Interviewer: You’re up to number five.

Julie: Ok. Five: I frequently feel lonely, but then when I try and open up to talk to people, I am more miserable than the lonely Julie…so I keep pretty quiet. There are only a few select people I know who I can actually carry on a conversation with.

Interviewer: How did this happen to you?

Julie: I don’t know. I used to think that because I had to talk to so many people when I was working, that when I came home he quiet was more appealing.

Interviewer: And then?

Julie: And then I stopped working and I am still quiet.

Interviewer: But you seem really outgoing..

Julie: I am conflicted. I think you get the outgoing Julie when I am very uncomfortable. I think I subconsciously try to mask my uncomfortable-ness.

Interviewer: Well, for the record, I think all of this makes perfect sense.

Julie: Thank you.

Interviewer: How about number six?

Julie: Ok…aside from being the MVP in girls volleyball at St. Therese Academy, the only other sanctioned sport I “played” was bowling.

Interviewer: COUGH.

Julie: What?

Interviewer: With one of those woman bowler haircuts?

Julie: (sighs heavily) Yes… I have naturally curly hair…I confess. I sported a woman-mullet back in the day.

Interviewer: No wonder you like to keep to yourself…

Julie: Aint that the truth. No one knew what to do with curly hair back then…it’s the hairstylist’s fault I turned out like this!

Interviewer: Catholic school just breathed a sigh of relief…

Thank you for coming by! One more thing...high winds, dry air, California is burning again...please think happy thoughts.